JOYCE RANDALL (joyouspirit7)

 

I have been a dedicated woman of God for almost 16 years now.

 

My childhood is sort of kind blurry, but it was a mixture of abuse, health issues, and love. My father was very abusive to all of us, and I spent most of my childhood scared and in hiding. I struggled with insecurities and got bullied on in school all the time. 

 

I also had health issues to deal with that caused me a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. Spent years in and out of the hospital having tests done and finally surgery.  

 

But my mother was a vessel of love that was always by my side and made sure the doctors were doing all that could to make me beeter. I have always looked up to her because she gave 200% of herself to her family and to everyone she met. I felt so blessed to be a part of her life. She had such a magic touch to every plant and animal she touched. She the one that really taught me so much about unconditional love.

 

The first 40 years of my life were filled with many heartaches and pain.

I was hungry for love that I jumped into many abusive relationships.

And dealt with yet another health issue that caused me to spend years in the hospitals once again. I know I have survivied everything in my life only by the Grace of God. 

 

I was at such a broken place in my life when I found a church that shown me the love and acceptance that I so longed to feel. It was the love of God that drew me there and it was God's mighty love that finally freed me from my tormentors and wrapped his arms around me. I spent years crying my heart out to God and was finally able to release all the pain, shame, and guilt that I was carrying inside me. 

 

It didn't mean I quit messing up, but that I now had someone that loved me unconditionally. He is my one and only Savior. I spent the next 10 years alone so hungry for the Lord that I just about lived in the Word of God. I fell more in love with Jesus than I have ever felt for anyone. And I know that the love my mother distilled into me came from God. 

 

Then my mother became sick with cancer and I moved in to care for her. It was during this time that the Lord lead me to Isaiah 55:5 which says, "You shall go to nations you do not know and nations you do not know shall come to you, for the Lord God of Israel has glorified you. At this time in my life, I had no idea what that meant.

 

After her death, I reluntlantly at first stayed and cared for my abusive father. God revealed to me that he was also a victim and gave me compassion to pray for him. Caring for him was not easy, but it changed not only him, but my heart.

 

Because God loves us all unconditionaly and he showed me that sin is sin in his eyes. And no one's sin is greater than another.

 

He lead me to Psalm 139 and told me that he formed me and placed me into my mother's womb knowing everything that would happen to me and that He not ONLY created my strenghts but my weaknessess. And that He has a glorious plan and purpose for my life.